Every Month Should be Men's Health Month - Part 2

Alex Oct 29, 2023
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Man looking upwards at stars


Around the time social media really started becoming more popular I started feeling like this was too much. Not for the mere fact that everyone's business was now becoming public knowledge online. My feelings came from the place of I don't need to know everyone's thoughts all the time. When everyone's thoughts are known all the time its as if the mind of many becomes one i.e. Hive Mind.

Like I Said Last Time, One ID Each!

If you guys check my last post “Every Month Should be Men's Health Month - Part 1” I closed with the following quote.

“Two identities cannot occupy the same man without causing great mental harm.”

Imagine a normal day on your favorite social media site/app.

When you get on you are displayed the latest from people you follow and people who the site thinks you would like to follow.

After so many times you could start to follow people you really don't know. Maybe even one day you login and there is offensive content posted by one of these people you really don't know. This interaction could lead to you unfollowing them or you could end up continuing to follow them. 

Once the algorithm gets enough info on you and your interactions, more of the same type of people will be sent your way. Now you got 3 or 6 or 20 people saying things that you don’t identify with but you're already connected to that group. Eventually you may need to do a friend dump or leave the site completely. 

All this to say that in the real world, you choose what people/minds you want to interact with. In the digital world, the algorithm chooses who you interact with.

When Minds Collide

Alright, I'm rolling now. So to give you an illustration of how this may impact your mental health let's look at the flow below.


Your mind=Your thoughts/experiences

Their Mind=Their thoughts/experiences

Social media=place to share thoughts/experiences

Social Media=place to share minds

I hope you can see where I'm going with this. At what point does your mind and their mind become one?

The point when your mind merges with theirs is where mental health issues stem for the average person. The more you expose yourself to social media the less time you have to vet the people you are connecting to. Sometimes, you may not even be connecting with a real person. You've seen “Catfish, the TV show”, right?

With social media, the minds of others are broadcasted and pushed in your face too fast. If you have not set up boundaries or filters to stop this from happening you may be led to start allowing things in your mind that otherwise wouldn't be there.

Books Will Show You the Way.

Let me share this helpful clue to how to take control of your mind again. 

Take a trip to the library and look around. When you walk in the door how would you find what you are looking for?

Do 3-4 books fly off the shelf and start reading themselves to you once you walk through the door?


For the average patron they would either:

  1. Ask a librarian

  2. Check the catalog

  3. Look for the signs above each section

This method of searching for information puts the power back into the hands of the seeker. When a seeker looks for information that is a sign that they are ready for that information. On the other hand, social media doesn't give a f*** if you are ready. It will throw it on your dashboard. Don't let them feed you. Feed yourself.

So what are you supposed to do?

  1. Change the settings/filters on your social media

It's not my intention to tell grown men to put child locks on himself but it is a good idea to make the doors harder to open. Your mind is one of the most important tools you have to live a long happy life. If you allow others' minds/ideas/experiences to enter your world without any safeguards its only a matter of time before you go to war with yourself.

  1. Perform a friend/subscribe review monthly

Sometimes you get hit with a great suggestion from YouTube or Facebook that leads to you following a person for a while. Their info is great for a while but as time progresses you start to realize you don't need their help anymore.
This is a sign that you need to reevaluate the connection. If need be, cut iiiiit!

If you can’t separate from unnecessary connections you could be introduced to unnecessary ideas or drama.

  1. Perform a review on yourself monthly

After all the work you put into building yourself into a smarter, stronger, and successful man you could get to a point where you outgrow your peers. When the student becomes the teacher type of moment. Now as a teacher, it will be a great disservice to you to stay in a child's place if you are hella grown. The way you start to realize you have outgrown them are as follows:

  • You consistently know when things are going to happen whether it's good or bad. 

  • You consistently get results or successes faster than your peers.

  • Your old problems that you once shared with your peers are gone.

  • Peers ask for your opinion more times than not.

Now these are some of the signs you are growing as a man and does not mean you must cut off association completely with your past connections. 

You may have to transition to being that guy in the group who helps others get to your level of growth. 

It may also mean you need to find an additional group to learn from so you can continue to grow in success. 

In the end it is up to you who you want to become so these monthly reviews give you the vital time to self-reflect on your wins and losses so you can plan your next moves.

Hopefully you can use these steps to get away from hearing the thoughts/experiences of everyone else and learn more about what your true thoughts/experiences are for you.