Every Month Should be Men's Health Month - Part 1
Social Media Labels and Men's Mental Health
Toxic Masculinity on the Rise?
Where did toxic masculinity come from? To me, it appeared at a moment's notice. At the drop of a hat you might say.
But what does that even mean? It means that someone had an interaction with a dude and thought he was disrespectful. Instead of attributing that to the person being unreasonable, people tend to try to hang an identifier on it so they don't miss it next time when it happens. This same identifier is given to all their friends and family, like a code word, which slowly snowballs out of control.
The same could be said for other labels like Misogynist and Red Pill.
Simple Examples of Everyday Convos
EX.
Friend 1: My boyfriend is so rude thinking he doesn't have to say thank you after I cook him dinner.
Friend 2: That's that toxic masculinity.
Friend 1: Right?!
EX.
Friend 1: My boyfriend wont let me out the house looking like a stripper but I never say anything to him about his clothes.
Friend 2: That's that toxic masculinity.
Both examples highlight characteristics in men that someone doesn't like.
In the first example, that has nothing to do with being masculine but more about his home trainin’. In an effort to talk bad about the guy in a way people understand you must say the buzz word “Toxic Masculinity”, usually said with a stank face and rolled eyes.
In the second example, it can be seen as being masculine or imposing boundaries. That action is an act of protecting his person from unwanted attention and prevents them from disrespecting themselves. This is not toxic. My wife has the same comments to me about what I wear out the house with the sole motivation of protecting what's hers.
When you protect something that is yours you are being Masculine.
When you do it for the wellbeing of others it's not toxic, it's Healthy.
This backwards way of guiding men to treat their partners right is a flawed response that can disturb men’s mental balance. Men will be stuck in limbo as far as what is right and what is wrong in society. This will lead to men being in their head too much, too focused on what is right or wrong for everyone online. Being in your head prevents you from being decisive. And being decisive is also another masculine trait.
Eventually the label like “toxic masculinity” will polarize men to opposite ends of the spectrum where some men do everything they can to repel the toxic masculinity title or they will rebel. Rebellion eventually leads to true toxic traits that are justified with the "masculine" moniker.
Once the guys are too effeminate to defend masculinity or too bitter to deal with another person, people will say “Where did all the good guys go?” These highly sought men will invariably possess the same traits that were once thought to be toxic.
How to Deal with The Labels
Men. Uphold respect and shun anything that prevents you from doing that.
Social media is like trying to drink the ocean. It's impossible to take it all in. You must instead pan for gold. Only take the precious out and leave the rest. Once you find your treasure you must exit and come back another time. Give yourself time to analyze all the ideas you may have heard over the span of a day to sift through all the noise. This is best done by deleting social media from any device that is checked often.
Reflect on how the time you spent engaged in social media has made you a better/worse man.
Then decide who you want to become/remain.
As a man whether you like it or not people will try to test you. They want to see how much of the masculine characteristics you have and how easy it is to remove them. You must decide what type of man you want to be and you have the right to choose whatever you like. In the typical sense, as long as you hold on to your core beliefs of who you are then your mental health will improve. The problems arise when you know who you are and at the same time you are trying to be what someone else says you are. Two identities cannot occupy the same man without causing great mental harm.