How to Live a Beautiful Life
Vicarious
“experienced or realized through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another”
This is the way a conversation started that led me to an enlightening discovery.
Living Vicariously
Friend says, "Man I hate the dating scene!"
"I don't know why its so hard to have a deep connection with women nowadays?"
I know why.
Its because the culture has allowed many to live vicariously.
Anything we have an urge to do, we go online to find someone to proverbially do it for us.
Once that's done we can dust our thumbs off and go to bed feeling accomplished!
But we didn't do anything. We got the emotions without the true experience.
This is what hijacked us. This is why women cant talk about anything other than their pets and the latest show they watched.
This is why men have lost the drive to marry and have children or at the least decide to have a girlfriend.
We all have this problem in varying degrees of magnitude.
Some can see what they are doing and correct it right away.
Others don't even realize they are doing it.
So when was the last time you caught yourself living vicariously?
Watching a football player running on a field you should be running on?
Watching a girl talk to a guy you had a crush on forever?
Watching influencers do amazing things with their bodies that you could totally do if you made up your mind to?
Bleach Moment
The following day after I took some time to digest what I had told my friend I had a moment of self reflection. I am just as bad as everyone else.
I live vicariously too. Its through anime. In particular it is mainly Attack on Titan, Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, Trigun, Full-Metal Alchemist, and Bleach.
These shows are all set in imaginary lands where the characters are fighting against some sort of evil that is spiritual. As they move further in their quest, more powers are opened up to them, that can be used to beat the bad guys.
I am really drawn to this because I am naturally drawn to spirituality. If a show appears on my feed with a well thought out spiritual story then I'm watching it.
Now looking back, I know that I am watching it because as the characters build up their “Spiritual Powers” I am looking for the same. I want my spiritual powers to grow like theirs.
Unfortunately, I am not putting in the work to get the same results they got. To top it off the anime normally exaggerates things so who am I to say I don't have the spiritual powers just because I cant shoot a “spirit gun”. Just put in the work.
How To Live the Dream
What should you do after watching all the movies, shows, and peers do all the things you want to do? Here is a quick guide to guide you so you don’t get stuck on the sidelines.
Get Inspired: Remember what makes you excited. What kind of things you find yourself searching online? Look for people who do what is interesting to you to see how to get started or rekindle old loves.
Go Try It: Now that you got somethings to try now you have to get your hands dirty. You won’t know if this will bring you joy until you spend some time participating in the activity.
Whittle Down: After trying some of the interests now you must choose a couple of things from your list of activities you felt a connection to. Which one(s) made you feel like you couldn’t wait til the next time you can do it again? Which activity gave you a challenge that could increase your self esteem?
The main thing about living is that you don’t want others living and experiencing life for you. You must be involved in your life. No one will be able to give you the insights and feeling of accomplishment. You must do it yourself or else you will always feel like there is something missing.
Living vicariously is a start in the right direction but people need the feedback from living life. By entrusting someone indirectly to go after your dreams leads many to a never ending feedback loop that keeps us addicted to not doing anything for ourselves. And when I say feedback I mean setbacks and successes. Because without these as overs of life we lose our ability to grow and adapt.
I urge you! Take the leap. Live life in person and enjoy the ups and downs because through those moments you learn what fuels your soul.
Stay True!
Alex
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vicarious